im_torchwood

Jack turned slowly to face him and a flash of memory hit him hard. So hard he almost felt a weight around his neck.

"You're going to try to kill yourself again, aren't you?" he said. "And this time I'm not wearing the bullet around my neck. You gave it to me. I remember...Joe stopped you and you gave me the bullet..."

Logan was silent, swallowing hard, then shaking his head as he got to his feet.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said finally. ...Though he kind of did. Ray had caught him, in the woods, with his gun. Joe had taken care of him, and he had, in fact, saved the bullet. He hadn't given it to anyone though.

Quietly he reached for his jacket. "I'm going for a walk."

Jack crossed to him then and tucked the charged phone into his pocket.

"When you come back I'll take you and show you where I live," he said. His expression was so cold but as he looked into Logan's eyes the bitterness, the cynicism and reticence, it thawed within him and his gaze softened.

"Come back soon. And don't forget your keycard."

Logan seemed genuinely startled by the fact that Jack even seemed to care, and after a moment he nodded dumbly and picked up his wallet- Well, the other Logan's wallet- and headed out the door.

He was gone for ages. Nearly two hours. Though he didn't go very far. There were shops close by, a few still open, and he'd found a strange sort of calm wash over him as he did a little shopping. ...He'd forgotten what it was like to be able to have anything you wanted with just a swipe of a card.

When he returned he was carrying some shopping bags, and he dumped them onto the coffee table before sitting down in front of them, wondering if Jack was still here.

"Harkness?" he called out curiously, pulling out a few of the things he'd bought to admire them in a way he never would have before finding himself on the island.

The toilet flushed and the faucet ran, then Jack came out to join Logan.

"You were gone forever," he said. "I ate your cheeseburger."

He looked at the bags, then turned his attention to Logan, relief clear on his face.

Logan shrugged, holding up one of the t-shirts he'd bought. The bags were from everything from clothing stores to the local Tesco.

"I forgot what it's like to exchange actual money for goods," he admitted. "Guess I got caught up in it, or whatever."

Digging through another bag he pulled out a pair of crew socks that were printed with an image of what looked like a galaxy.

"Got you those, spaceman," he said, tossing them Jack's way.

"You...bought me a gift?" he asked, looking from the socks to Logan and back. He was quiet for a moment and then he smiled.

"Thank you."

"They're just socks, not matching friendship bracelets. Don't get too excited man," Logan replied with a snort.

Logan's quip did nothing to take the smile away. He tucked the socks in his pocket then moved to sit on the sofa.

"So you liked shopping," he said. "Good to know."

"It's alright," Logan shrugged. "I think it was just cool not to have to depend on the island. Like, I bought a book. I never buy books, but I bought one, because there was this whole store full of them, not just a shelf full of whatever the island wanted to torture me with. Ditto on the clothes, you know?"

He picked at a tag hanging from one of his new purchases, then glanced at Jack.

"I never told anyone about trying to shoot myself. Joe knew, because they made me stay with him after. Ray knew, 'cause he found me, and Dale knew- Because he kept it quiet."

Jack was quiet for a minute, then got back up off the sofa and moved to Logan, taking hold of him and looking into his eyes.

"I don't remember everything, and none of it is in order...but I know you told me that. I know you put that bullet on a cord and I wore it. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. For that...I apologize."

"It's fine. It's- Whatever, you know? I'm amazingly used to shit not making any sense any more," he assured Jack, slumping lower in his seat and watching the other man.

"I guess I just- It's just strange that you know. I mean, we hated each other, and you- God, you wanted everyone on that island who wasn't me. And it wasn't just because I was young, I saw you flirt with people younger than me. ...And I'm not some seventeen year old any more anyway."

He trailed off, not sure why he even cared- He just new he did. He'd always been bothered by how easily Jack could blow him off.

"It's kind of hard to believe that one day you just woke up and decided I was worth your time or something."

"Why is that so hard to believe?" he asked. "Because you think I can't love or because you don't think I could love you?"

"Neither. I mean, whatever, I'm sure you've loved someone. You loved House, right? Or, I mean, you didn't, but the Jack I knew did. And No one could love me long term, my divorce is proof of that. ...I just mean- You always treated me like I was in your way, the rest of the island was your best friend or in your bed, but not me, right? Never me."

"No. Not never. Somehow. Eventually," he replied, a hand sliding to cradle Logan's jaw.

There was something magnetic between them and even though he knew Logan could hurt him- would, eventually- he couldn't resist the pull. The young man who came for college, the young man before him, the husband in his memories, it didn't matter. Logan pulled him in and Jack closed the distance, lips ghosting against the young man's.

Logan went still at first, then slowly relaxed into the kiss, returning it cautiously- As if he didn't trust Jack completely. Like it was a joke, or a strategic attack he needed to be ready to defend himself from.

As Jack kissed him he fell. He fell for Logan and knew that no matter who he was or what he knew, when he was from or what dimension or time, he was destined to love him. It was surely a fixed point.

Heat rushed through him and he felt as if he could breathe for the first time since Logan had changed before his eyes. The passion rose in him, life itself swelling up, and his kiss grew warm. Electric.

A little voice inside his head told him this was a bad idea. That Jack couldn't love him. No one loved him. ...But the kiss felt so right, and even though he was certain he couldn't be happy, that he couldn't be cared for- He wanted to be. He wanted this to be as real as it felt.

"God, I hate you," he said quietly, but the words sounded like lies.

Especially when Logan slipped his arms around Jack and kissed him harder.

His other hand rose and pushed into Logan's unruly sun kissed hair. His tongue licked at the inside of Logan's mouth and he gasped between open lips.

"You...don't," he counted, the words mumbled into the young man's mouth so he could swallow the truth of them.

"Shut up," Logan gasped between kisses. "Just- Just shut up, Jack."

He pushed the other man a little, but not hard enough to actually shove him away- Not enough to stop him from kissing him again.

For a reason he couldn't understand, a reason not tied to any concrete memory, hearing Logan tell him to shut up shot straight to his cock. He tugged at Logan's hair to keep him close, then let go of his face so he could pull the hem of his shirt up to feel the warmth of his skin and the muscles toned and tanned from a life surfing.

Logan pulled away though, not about to make out on the sofa like this was some sweet and innocent hook up.

Instead he got to his feet and peeled off his shirt, giving Jack a look that asked if he was coming, before turning away and slipping into the bedroom.

Jack left his coat behind and followed a moment later, slipping his braces off his shoulders and undoing the top buttons of his shirt. His attraction to Logan was almost beyond reason.

"You're beautiful," he said, eyes raking over Logan's body.

"Bullshit," Logan snorted, sitting down on the edge of the bed and clearly not sure what to do.

"Don't be nice, Harkness. I don't know what to do with nice."

"What am I supposed to do? Slap you around?" Jack chuckled, peeling his own shirt away. He was flawless, not terribly toned but in fine shape. There were no scars, no wrinkles, no blemishes. Jack walked up to Logan and put a hand on his chest and pushed him down onto the bed.

"I don't want to be mean. There's too much cruelty in the world."

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